Unproductive fun. Or is it?

So today we went to church, that was fun. I liked the songs we sang today, and I'm getting a little better about figuring out how the Spanish words work in the songs. After church we hung out at Sara's house, ate at Chili's, took naps, made and ate cookies, watched some TV, and went to Starbucks. It was a lovely day.

I have been wondering lately though, about the differences between short term and long term mission trips. All of my past mission experience has been very short term, where you go with a lot of people and put in a lot of effort in a short period of time, and then leave, but you can see the results of whatever you've done.

But here, life is more normal. We go to movies, get coffee, live in a house, and other things like that. In longer term missions, the goal is to build relationships. Especially in Mexico/Latin America where life itself is more about creating relationships. And it takes a lot longer to see results. There are real lives invested in this, not just a week of time.

So, while it's very needed for people to reach out and do big things on a big scale for people, it's also important to live our daily lives to the glory of God, whether that be in Mexico, the States, Europe, Africa, or anywhere else that we may find ourselves. Balance.

Sometimes it feels to me like we're being unproductive (and ok, every now and then we really are...I really do like to sleep in sometimes), but a lot of the time with our family, with the church, with our tutors, with the youth, with the other interns and the missionaries, we're really being productive...but in a slower way that you have to be more patient to see the results.

I think only God knows where my life is going to go, but I'm learning and being reminded that our relationships and our lives are tools that God uses to reach out to people, whether or not our job description is "missionary". Maybe that will be my formal full time job description, and maybe it won't. But I know know that here in Mexico and wherever I go, I want to try to connect with people, and let my life reflect God's love.

And God knows I don't do that nearly as well as I want to, but I trust in His grace that He'll work through me as I am, and continue to guide me to where I'm going.

[And if you're reading this, pray that I can really put my heart into learning Spanish. Right now, that's by far the biggest barrier I'm facing in connecting with people. I really want to reach out, but I'm held back by my lack of Spanish, and by fear, I guess. Fear that my progress won't be enough, fear that I won't be understood, fear that I won't understand, and fear of something that I can't pinpoint. I want to try to really connect to the culture, but I know I'm holding back. I know that right now, I'm not giving this or God my all as I try to cling to my comfort zone of English. I don't want anything to be a barrier to God's work, and I thing that's what my fear or my holding back is.]

So I need the courage and the strength to dive into this, and not just dip my toes. Not alone, because I have wonderful support here in the other interns and Sara. And I need God's help to take these words and change them into actions. Because as much as I say it, if I don't do anything, then nothing is going to change. Doing this is going to require me to draw closer to God, and rely on Him for strength, because I don't think I have it in me. As Paul says in Philippians 4, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."

So here goes. Another day is coming, another week, and many more opportunities to learn and grow in God and His grace.